May 2019

Every university has its traditions, and every university likes to believe that their traditions are the best. Luckily for attendees of The University, their way of doing things actually is the best, but I digress. Graduation is upon us, kids. Time to pound a bottle of cheap champagne-ish substance with your best friends, walk the lawn in a decorated cap

Every brunch is booked, Amazon won’t make it in time, and you’re at least a decade too old to come up with a macaroni painting and call it “art.” Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and here you are, empty handed, definitely about to lose your slot as Favorite Child, and in a bit of a panic. You need